How to Prepare 17 Month Old for New Baby
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Preparing an 18-month old for a new sibling..
(14 Posts)
Tallfi Mon 09-Feb-09 20:24:02
Hello - I'm new to this and have probably missed a very detailed thread about this (in which case sorry, just gently point me in that direction..), but does anyone have any advice for preparing what will be an 18th month old for a sibling? Although I've started to refer to my bump as 'your baby' so at least the word isnt new, how can I get the concept over? I dont know anyone with a small baby. On top of that he has started to hit things with toys and although I've started to try and teach him the concept of stroking gently, I'm sure the lovely wooden toys he's been given over the last year are going to turn into lethal projectiles. Anyway, any advice would be v v v gratefully received. Thaaaank you!
compo Mon 09-Feb-09 20:25:35
we found books helped. Spot's baby sister was a favourite one and A special Something
NorktasticNinja Mon 09-Feb-09 20:29:17
Mmmmm no idea Tallfi! I'm in pretty much the same position myself. DD will be 18 months when DC2 comes in June. I've been referring to the bump as 'the baby', no illusions that she's getting it though.
Interested to hear how others have done it.
amidaiwish Mon 09-Feb-09 20:37:04
do any transitions that you need to (moving him out of the nursery for example) well before the baby is here.
strengthen their relationship with their dad - that was key for DD1 when dd2 was born, they will be spending a lot of time together so make sure they start doing it now.
i found these books really good as they are word free here(and free delivery code KF1ZZ140 if you want it)
not sure what else to recommend, make sure the baby gets a present for them as well as they get a present when they first meet the baby
try to bring them to the baby rather than you, dh and the baby all turn up to them (they could feel replaced by the baby if it is you, dh and new baby iyswim)
will keep thinking!
oregonianabroad Mon 09-Feb-09 20:42:58
mine are 23 months apart, so a little bit longer, but we bought ds1 a baby doll to practice on. Spent a lot of time talking about baby before, looking at picutres, role-playing, etc...
Also bought him a little wheelie suitcase and filled it with bits to keep him busy when i was feeding. he brought it with him to the hospital -- can still remember all the nurses laughing as he wheeled it down the hall.
Have the baby 'bring' him a little something, and help him choose a little something for the new baby too.
Those books help -- there on Amazon too.
TBH, it's preparing for the after-shock (about 4-6 months after the new baby comes), when they realise a. it's not going back and b. it suddenly got a lot more interesting/ mobile.
Good luck!
fruitcorner Mon 09-Feb-09 20:53:33
it will be difficult to prepare him for the concept of a new baby - it's difficult to prepare an older child even- but some of the suggested books will be useful.
it's a good idea to make planned changes now or make changes in his routine before the baby arrives so that he's settled but also so he doesnt link all the changes with the baby.
I would think about how you will occupy him post the baby. Make sure your house is completely toddler proof so that you can sit down to feed the baby and know that he can't open all the cupboards, pull knives out of drawers,wander up the stairs etc when you arent as quick on your feet as you are now. Line up some new toys esp books to whip out when you need to feed and also think about introducing him to TV, although at 18 months, he is probably too young for it to occupy him for more than a nano second.
At 18 months children can be less jealous than an older child of a new baby so you may be pleasantly surprised and remember that a lot of children have been faced with a new arrival and most of them have survived without being scarred for life.
pollywollywoowah Mon 09-Feb-09 20:53:57
DS was 19mths when DD was born in October.
We bought My New Baby by Annie Kubler which DS loved. It has no words, just pictures so you can talk about what is happening (nappy changing, feeding, bathtime etc) in your own words. We also had The New Baby (which is an Usbourne First Experiences book) which is also very basic but gives lots of opportunity for talking about the different things what will be happening.
Didn't really go in for much else in way of preparation. We talked about the cot, moses basket etc when we put them up and made sure baby bits and bobs were around the house a few weeks before DD was due. Personally I think DS was a bit too young to really understand a future event anyway.
When DD was born he looked at her in moses basket and pointed a bit but basically just accepted her presence and our involvement with her. We bent over backwards to keep his routine the same (especially at bedtime) and have had no major problems other than over enthusastic cuddling and kissing on occasion.
Now 4mths on they adore each other. DD gives DS her best smiles and watches him all the time and in return she gets lots of hugs and kisses. I'm sure your DS will be fine too.
Tallfi Mon 09-Feb-09 22:27:28
How amazing to get responses so quickly! Thank you so much for v good advice - will get going on it all!
amidaiwish Tue 10-Feb-09 10:37:52
and don't worry too much - mine are 19m apart and it is a good gap. a few phases coincide which isn't ideal (potty training and crawling was the main disaster combo!) but far less jealousy compared to friends with a 2 1/2 year age gap.
good luck!
jlh69 Tue 10-Feb-09 14:09:42
My DD is 18 months and her new brother is 5 weeks old. Had great plans of moving her into a new room early, preparing her etc but DS arrived 5 weeks early and all went out of the window.
Apart from being a bit clingy sometimes she seems to have taken it all in her stride (for the moment at least..). I was in hospital for 10 days and she got very clingy with DH and ignored me a bit but OK now.
She is a bit rough with him sometimes but generally wants to hug and kiss him. If I am feeding she gets on with playing with toys but there sometimes comes a point when she points at his moses basket to tell me to put him down!
We moved her into her new room a couple of weeks ago and she has been more than fine with that.
She has also had a few tantrums but had those anyway 
.
With such a small gap I'm not sure that you can prepare them much really. I bought her a doll but until DS was born she wasn't interested at all but now quite likes wrapping it in a blanket. She is also strangely obsessed and 'helpful' when I'm changing DS's nappy!
Overall, not as bad and stressful as I thought it would be but still early days!
jlh69 Tue 10-Feb-09 14:11:31
Also- was a bit naughty and have managed to get DD REALLY into the Night garden. SHe wasn't remotely bothered by it a few weeks ago and now LOVES it so I can sit feeding while she watches that.
randomname Tue 10-Feb-09 15:09:52
hae 18 month gap between dd & ds1 and 20 months between ds1 & ds2 although only a couple of monhs in it was easier with 18 months. DD 'helped' alot with nappy changes etc loved to have a job etc and had a good routine so was suprisingly esy. ds1 kind of ignores the baby not bothered by him sure once he starts moving will may more attention, only trouble we had is ds1 started waking at night and became very clingy, this is probably just an age thing though (I hope!) but very draining. we had books, had already decided on names so the bump became the baby and they seemed to grasp this ok, and a present from the baby worked, nothing like a bit of a bribe! Good luck
Tallfi Wed 11-Feb-09 14:02:08
jlh69 - I know what you mean re Night Garden - I've already got him hooked (for his own good of course..)
Insanity Wed 25-Mar-09 21:22:16
Tallfi old thread I know,but was wondering how you were getting on?
I have this age gap with mine and tbh I dont even think it registered with ds that there was a new baby in the house, he was just happy to help! I did make sure that any "baby" wellwishers should make a fuss of ds first. Got some great photos of them on dd baby bouncer, ds used to sit with his bottom at the top and his legs either side, suprisinly gentle in a toddler kind of way!
The problem I have is now with them being 6 and 7. DS1 clearly wants to be respected as the older brother but DD (massive tomboy!) is nipping at his ankles and wanting to play with him and all his friends 
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How to Prepare 17 Month Old for New Baby
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